


Ex Machina

by scheherazade



Series: Nantoka Daigaku (College AU) [2]
Category: Tenimyu RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 13:13:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12277185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scheherazade/pseuds/scheherazade
Summary: In which Ikkei interviews a baseball jock on his radio show, and Yata brings the metaphorical popcorn.





	Ex Machina

**Author's Note:**

> because mer has been patiently waiting for The Radio Interview for a very long time <3

"I think your microwave's broken. The popcorn—"

"Shh! It's starting."

"You don't want popcorn?"

"Metaphorical popcorn will do." Yata turns the dial on his portable radio. Why he has a portable radio is anyone's guess. It suits him, though, Hideya thinks as he scoots over on the common room couch to make room for Mokkun. 

Mokkun tosses the not-quite-inflated bag of popcorn on the table. "Help yourself," he says cheerfully. "Can't promise you won't break your teeth, though."

"I can get some snacks from my room," Hideya offers, only to be loudly shushed by Yata again as the radio signal clarifies into a voice saying,

" _—live on FM 107.7, this is Hour Q: a time for all things queer and quality. I'm your host, Yamamoto Ikkei. I hope this week has treated you well. Now, before we get started, a few housekeeping items..._ "

"Ikkei-chan has gotten pretty good at this," Mokkun notes. 

Hideya draws his knees up to his chest, smiling to himself. Ikkei is very good at this, but that's to be expected: Ikkei is very good at whatever he sets his mind to. Even if—as Ikkei told Hideya, right before leaving for the studio—what he has to set his mind to is interviewing a varsity jock that Yata Yusuke had invited onto his show, without his permission and without so much as a shred of remorse for violating that sacred bond of trust and solidarity known as friendship.

Friendship is a social construct, is probably what Yata would say. A necessary evil, as Ikkei might grumpily agree, which still makes it a step above socialized apathy. 

Hideya thinks it's nice, really, that Ikkei found a friend like Yata. 

" _...interested, please contact Hashimoto Taito of the Gardening Club. And that's all for housekeeping. So, putting away our dusters and other symbols of domestic labor..._ "

Hideya giggles at the joke, while Yata visibly rolls his eyes. 

" _Joining us this evening is a special guest. Very special. We've spoken with students and alumni representing a wide range of views and lifestyles, and today, we're coming at you from out of left field—_ "

"Isn't he the second baseman?"

"Since when do you watch college sports?"

"Since never," says Mokkun cheerfully.

" _—representing the varsity men's baseball team, Kuroba Mario. Welcome to Hour Q, Kuroba-kun._ "

" _Thanks for having me. Go Racks!_ "

"Oh my god," says Yata, at the same time Mokkun bursts into laughter. Hideya covers his mouth with one hand. On air, Ikkei says, 

" _Excuse me?_ "

" _Racks? Like, uh, short for The Royal Racketeers? Speaking of which, why is that the college mascot? Nobody ever explained that to me._ "

" _Yeah,_ " says Ikkei after half a beat too long. " _You'd think organized crime would be a poor choice to represent a student body dedicated to learning, fairness, and the free exchange of ideas._ "

" _Maybe our mascot should be irony instead. Haha. Gooooo, Morissettes!_ "

Yata dodges Hideya's involuntary arm flail—he can't help it, he really can't—and then Mokkun is singing, "It's like raaaaaiiiiin, on your wedding day!"

"A free ride," Hideya joins in, "when you've already paid!"

Mokkun strums an imaginary guitar. "It's the good advice—"

"That you never take, because you're you," Yata says voice flat, derailing the rest of the chorus into giggles. Mostly his fault, Hideya knows, but Mokkun just smiles at Yata over his head. 

"I'm great with advice, Yata-chan. Aren't you glad you listened to me when I suggested we all tune in together?"

"You don't even own a radio."

"The universe sends me many signals," Mokkun says in a completely zen kind of voice, and Yata makes a sound suspiciously close to a splutter. 

A burst of laughter draws their attention back to the radio. " _Well,_ " says Ikkei, and Hideya swears his roommate sounds surprised at himself. " _That's certainly one way of putting it._ "

" _How would you put it, Ikkei-san?_ "

" _Let's say I tend to take a slightly dimmer view of misapplied labels._ " A sound like note cards being shuffled and realigned. Ikkei clears his throat. " _So. Evidence suggests that you hold a wide range of interests, Kuroba-kun. I understand you have elected a course within the gender studies department?_ "

"Why does he sound like that," Yata says. 

Mokkun tears open the sadly wilting bag of popcorn. "Sound like what?"

"Like a business-formal dictionary attempting to describe human interaction."

Hideya giggles, and Yata gives him a glance. It's more querying than mean, though, so Hideya smiles back and shrugs. "I think Ikkei might be nervous."

"He was laughing a second ago." Mokkun nibbles thoughtfully on a handful of half-popped kernels. 

Yata is still watching him. Hideya feels a little nervous himself. "That's probably why," he says to Mokkun. "Ikkei doesn't like being caught off guard."

Yata snorts. "He's just scared of sporty people."

"He's not scared of you," Mokkun notes.

"He's got a lot to learn."

On the radio, Kuroba concludes, " _But I'm really looking forward to Nagayama-sensei's class! New experiences are what college is all about, right?_ "

" _So it seems,_ " says Ikkei, and Yata props his chin on one hand. " _Well, judging by my Twitter mentions, our listeners have some questions for Kuroba-kun. And a reminder to all of you tuning in, you can find more information about Hour Q via our Facebook page or Twitter. Tweet your questions and comments to AirwaveBender. That's one word, AirwaveBender._ "

" _And I'm at superkuromario. Follow me!_ "

Yata holds out his hand to Mokkun. "Give me your phone."

" _First question,_ " Ikkei says as Mokkun turns his phone over to Yata. " _I'm just going to go with the order they came in. First, from at mackeymono: Did you forget to pack your championship-winning form with your books and bedding when you moved in?_ "

Kuroba starts laughing almost before Ikkei has finished reading the question. " _Shut up, Aramaki! We'll talk when you can steal second base against me!_ "

" _Friend of yours?_ "

" _Teammate,_ " Kuroba replies. " _He's just kidding. I think._ "

"Don't hurt yourself," Yata says to himself. His eyes are glued to Mokkun's phone, Twitter app open as he types something that—Hideya thinks, with some concern—must surely be too long for the tweet character limit?

" _From at i-n-g-k say ya: Are you single? You don't have to answer that—_ "

" _I don't mind,_ " Kuroba says good-naturedly. " _I am, yeah. I mean, between class and extracurriculars—someone told me college is about three things: grades, friends, and sleep. You can only pick two. For me, it's more like: baseball, and everything else. And I can only pick one._ "

" _A fairly time intensive sport, I take it?_ "

" _Kinda._ " Kuroba sounds like he's smiling. " _You might be the first person I've talked to in like, weeks, who's not on the team._ "

" _I'm flattered,_ " Ikkei says, and the thing is, it does sound that way. Hideya smiles to himself. Ikkei is definitely warming up to Kuroba-kun.

"He probably says that to all the girls, Yamamoto," Yata tells the radio. He's still holding Mokkun's phone. 

Ikkei clears his throat. " _From at shohey...heyyyyy…? I'm not exactly sure how you pronounce five y's in a row, but—_ "

" _You got it._ "

" _Thank you. From shoheyhey with five y's: What's your favorite extracurricular activity?_ "

" _Apart from baseball and radio?_ " Kuroba chuckles, and background noise suggests that Ikkei does so as well. " _Actually, I'm still deciding. A lot of club meeting times conflict with practice, so. If your listeners have any suggestions!_ "

Yata's thumbs start flying over Mokkun's phone keyboard again.

" _You're not in any clubs?_ "

" _Er, technically I signed up for the board game club at the Activities Fair, but I haven't actually gone to any meetings._ " A pause. " _Guess I wasn't...bored enough?_ "

Mokkun starts laughing, and doesn't stop even when Yata tries to shush him with a hissed, "I'm trying to listen!" Hideya muffles his own laughter behind his hands. 

" _As in, you know,_ " Kuroba is saying. " _Board games? But also, bored—_ "

" _I got you, Kuroba-kun. And it looks like our listeners do have some suggestions. From Inagaki—improv troupe?_ "

" _Yikes. I think my jokes speak for themselves._ "

Ikkei laughs. " _From shoheyhey—Green Campus Project. The environmental club. They've got an ambitious initiative to make the college carbon neutral within the next five years._ "

" _They're pretty intense, aren't they? I mean, I recycle when I can!_ "

" _Not really interested in wrangling with administrative politics?_ "

" _I think they're doing a great thing. But, yeah, probably not for me._ "

" _From ota underscore motohiro—drama club. Hm. How do you feel about musical theater?_ "

" _I feel that...it's really fun to watch?_ " Kuroba laughs. " _I don't know, maybe! It would be a pretty big time commitment. I know the club president—_ "

" _Our very own Yata Yusuke._ "

On the couch, Yata takes a bow for an invisible audience. Hideya claps quietly.

" _Yeah,_ " says Kuroba. " _I've talked to Yata a bit, and it sounds like they're really gearing up for the fall musical. Are you, uh. Are you planning to go see it, Ikkei-san?_ "

"Uh oh," says Hideya to himself, while Mokkun raises an eyebrow and Yata snorts, "Really?"

" _I'll think about it,_ " Ikkei says. " _Oh, I missed a question here. From ota underscore motohiro: what are your thoughts on the performative value of and/or student athletes' obligation to promote better cross-group understanding—this sure is a thesis of a question—by participating in nonconforming activities outside his socialized norm._ "

" _Um. Such as?_ "

" _Such as,_ " Ikkei continues, sounding like he's still reading from what must be a very long tweet indeed, " _appearing on Hour Q and, as a next step, joining the Rainbow Alliance._ "

A pause.

Mokkun says, "You're wrecking my social media brand, Yata-chan."

" _That's quite a question._ " Kuroba's laugh is a nervous one. " _Can I, uh, use one of my lifelines?_ "

"What do you think Kuroba-kun is going to say?" Hideya asks hesitantly.

Yata continues staring at the radio, as if he has visual as well as audio of what's going on in the recording studio. "Doesn't matter, really. This is about Ikkei."

"Um," says Hideya, and Mokkun asks, "Why are you doing this to that poor man?"

"Kuroba can handle himself."

"I meant Ikkei-chan. I thought you two were friends." 

"I'm helping him," Yata says. "For someone who detests being mischaracterized by the world, Ikkei has yet to learn he also can't just judge other people by their labels."

Hideya hugs his knees closer, smiling faintly to himself. It sounds harsh, maybe, but Yata probably has a point. Hideya definitely remembers the look that had crossed Ikkei's face when he told his roommate he was taking econ 101. 

Hideya likes Ikkei a lot—he really does—Ikkei is smart and principled, outspoken when he needs to be, and determined to a fault. But he's not great at respecting other people's choices when he thinks they've made the wrong one. 

And in truth, econ 101 _is_ kind of boring—but econ 101 is also how he met Yata, so all in all, Hideya thinks it was worth it. Ikkei's silent judgement and all. 

On the radio, Ikkei says, " _Have you ever been part of an LGBT+ alliance?_ "

" _My high school didn't have one. And I don't know if I would have joined even if we did, honestly—_ "

" _Well, to each their own—_ "

" _No, I didn't mean._ " Kuroba sounds sheepish. " _I didn't do anything in high school apart from baseball, basically. It's a bit different here, since the league's not as competitive—no offense—_ "

" _None taken._ "

" _I'm here for the new experiences, like I said. What, uh, what time does Rainbow Alliance meet?_ "

" _Tuesdays at nine._ "

" _Nine p.m.?_ "

" _No way we'd get Seiya out of bed before ten any day of the week, so yes._ "

" _Ah. I have a study group on Tuesday nights. Me and a couple guys on the team, we're all in Aoyama-sensei's bio class, and he's kinda a hardass—if you're listening, sensei, we love you! But uh, yeah. If you've ever wondered about that group of people crying over lab reports in the science library on Tuesday nights._ "

" _So that's why I've never seen any of you at Rainbow Alliance,_ " Ikkei says, voice dry.

"Oof," says Mokkun. He makes a clawing motion with one hand. Yata holds up a finger. Hideya waits for it, as instructed, and hears Kuroba say,

" _Actually, Shohei goes to Rainbow Alliance, doesn't he?_ "

" _Shohei?_ "

" _He sent a couple questions—_ "

" _Yes, I guessed that was—_ "

" _He's our other catcher and cleanup,_ " Kuroba says.

"What," Hideya hears himself yelp. Mokkun puts a soothing hand on his arm. Hideya sinks back, glancing from Mokkun to Yata. "Did you know Shohei's on the baseball team?"

"Yes," says Yata, while Mokkun shrugs, "Always assume that Yata-chan's machinations have wheels within wheels."

"He never said anything at Rainbow Alliance…"

"Shohei is secure in who he is." Yata turns up the volume on the radio. "Ikkei should have known. Or would have, if he knew anything about sports. That guy's got the classic build of a catcher."

" _Right. Of course._ " Ikkei sounds vaguely lost. Yata watches the radio with a look of smug serenity. Hideya isn't sure how such an expression is possible, but Yata is definitely wearing it. Especially as Ikkei recovers only enough to ask, " _What's your position again?_ "

" _Second base,_ " comes the reply. (Mokkun hums, "Optimism is a virtue.") Kuroba continues, " _In the batting order, I'm—well, first. I'm the leadoff man._ "

" _Well done,_ " says Ikkei, still distracted. Yata snorts out loud, and as if he heard the noise of derision, Ikkei audibly gathers himself. " _That is. I don't know, is that something to be congratulated about?_ "

" _For me, yeah._ " Kuroba's smile is audible. " _I worked hard for it. So that's very nice of you to say._ "

" _Right. Well. Congratulations on your hard work._ " Ikkei sounds like he might be smiling, too. 

Mokkun tilts his head. "He's charmed."

"Naturally," says Yata.

"Is that why you sicced Kuroba on your friend?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. On either count."

"Sure you don't," says Hideya without thinking, and his voice comes out warm and fond—the way he'd talk to Ikkei, or his best friends from home—not the way he's used to talking to Yata Yusuke, who's possibly the smartest person Hideya has ever met.

He catches himself the same moment Yata does. Hideya fixes his eyes on the radio as Ikkei says, 

" _And with that, I'm afraid we're out of time. Thank you for joining us, Kuroba-kun._ "

" _Thank you, Ikkei-san. I had a lot of fun talking to you._ "

" _Yeah. Um, I'm glad." Ikkei turns his attention to his signoff. "This has been Yamamoto Ikkei, coming at you live with Hour Q, an independent radio program on all things queer and quality. As always, you can find us on Facebook or Twitter at AirwaveBender. Tune in next week for more great conversation. Hope you enjoyed tonight's show. From myself and Kuroba-kun…_ "

" _TGIF, everyone! Party responsibly._ "

The live audio cuts, and outtro music plays. 

Mokkun golf claps. "That was fun. We should do this again."

"We could." Yata leans back, arms crossed thoughtfully behind his head. "But will anything live up to the magnificence of this performance?"

"You never know." Hideya picks up the bag of popcorn that got kicked off the table at some point. "Maybe I can talk Shohei into guesting. You'll definitely want to tune in for that."

Yata actually laughs. 

It's a nice sound, Hideya thinks. He wouldn't mind listening to that again, either.

Mokkun slouches upright. "Well, I'm off to sleep for at least twelve hours." He throws a lazy salute as he heads for the door. "Like Kuroba-kun advised, party responsibly."

"Good night," says Hideya, and Yata adds, "You're getting weak, old man."

"Super senioritis," Mokkun agrees cheerfully. "See you when I see you."

The door swings shut. 

"Your friend is nice," Hideya says. 

Yata has closed his eyes, but Hideya is pretty sure there's an eye roll implied anyway. "Mokkun is what he is. Nice might be stretching it."

"You say that, but…"

"But?"

"Nothing." Hideya gathers up a few loose kernels, brushing them off the table and into the popcorn bag. "Kuroba-kun was a fun interview."

"He exceeded expectations," Yata says by way of agreement. "But then, I doubt Ikkei had any expectations for him. His prejudice against athletes is really something."

"I don't think he really knows any." Hideya pauses. "Well, apart from Shohei."

"And me."

"You play sports?" Hideya can't keep the surprise out of his voice. 

"I was the starting attacking midfielder for my junior high soccer team, three years running." Yata opens his eyes to contemplate the ceiling. "In the end, I choose theater and dance over athletics, but choices don't erase lived experience. Even if Yamamoto-san insists on redacting that part of my personal history to suit his own worldview."

"I'm sure Ikkei doesn't mean it that way."

"Maybe." Yata doesn't elaborate on that.

Hideya says, "For what it's worth, I think it's pretty cool. That you're into sports and musical theater. And everything else." Yata looks at him. Hideya shrugs. "People aren't always what you think they are, or how you label them. Right?"

Yata's lip quirks slightly. "Exceeding expectations, huh?"

"Exactly."

Yata makes a humming sound. After a bit, Hideya gets up from the couch and tosses the popcorn into the trash. He hears Yata taps his fingers on the table and then say, 

"Are you tired?"

"Um. No, not really." Hideya sticks his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "Why?"

"Student council bought a karaoke machine second-hand, for the tent formal. I have the key to the storage room." Yata turns off the portable radio, collapses the antenna. He looks at Hideya. Shrugs. "On the off chance there are any other Alanis Morissette songs you like?"

Hideya bites his lip. He knows he's smiling, but maybe that's okay: Yata is smiling, too.

"Okay," Hideya says. "Yeah. That sounds like fun."


End file.
